Loving Cassie was effortless.
She was a thirst I couldn’t quench.
She was everything I needed, but nothing I deserved.
I failed her more times than I could count.
I lied relentlessly.
And she always forgave me.
Until she couldn’t.
Maybe I deserved to be left behind.
* * *
Jax swept me off my feet with his disheveled hair and his easy smile.
I loved him fiercely.
He made me believe in the fairytale.
Then the walls crumbled around me.
The lies never ended.
I left him behind. I had no choice.
I mourned the loss of him.
But I moved on.
I created a new life,
Now, I was marrying someone else.
Where do we go now that he’s back?
From the time she was old enough to form words into sentences, Kristy Love has been writing stories. She attended La Roche College and graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Professional Writing. When she's not writing, Kristy can be found with her nose stuck in a book or spending time with her family and friends.
She lives with her husband and two girls in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
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Anger still simmered in her eyes and her body was stiff. I pulled cash out of my wallet and laid it on the table. It was enough to cover the check and a decent sized tip. Cassie slid out of the booth and I followed her out the door. When we were in the parking lot, standing beside her car, she turned to me. I buried my hands in my pockets.
“Before you leave, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for what I did to you and I’m sorry for what I did to Ben. I was a complete fuckup and I hope someday you can forgive me.”
“You fucked up, Jax.”
“I did. I know I did and I regret it. Every day.”
She nodded, her eyes still full of anger. “I should hate you.” I nodded and glanced away. “I should hate you and want nothing to do with you. I should never want to forgive you or ever want to talk to you again.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so damned sorry.” I tried my best to hold it together. I never thought I’d get this chance to say I was sorry to her face. Hell, I never thought I’d be face-to-face with her to begin with. “I wish there was more I could say, but that’s it. I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make it up to you.”
“I want to hate you.” Her voice wavered and she sounded like she was either fighting back anger or tears. Her eyes were full of turmoil, as though she was battling with herself. “I want to hate you, Jax. So damned much, but I can’t. I can’t find it in me to hate you. I hate what you did. I hate what you became, but it’s so damned great to see you like this.” She blew out a breath, as though preparing herself. “I can’t hate you, Jax, because I still love you.” She paused and stared into my eyes. My heart thundered as I waited for what came next. “I hate that I love you.”
That hurt. A lot. “I’m sorry, Cassie.”
“Stop calling me Cassie!” she screamed. She turned and opened her car door and I was so fucking confused. What the fuck was happening? One second she seemed remorseful, then angry, then like she wanted something more from me.
“What do you want me to do? What can I do?”
She whirled and faced me. “I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how I fucking feel.”
“I understand that.”
“You can’t understand anything, Jax!” A tear fell down her cheek and I had to fight to keep my distance. “I loved you, Jax. And then I lost you. I know I walked away from you, but I lost you long before I left. I wanted to be with you, despite all of the shit you put me through. Even though you kept tearing me apart. I loved you so damn much, I was blind.” Tears fell freely down her cheeks. “Every time you come into my life, it ends up in pieces. Before, then at my wedding, and again now.” She wiped at her cheeks angrily. “Fuck, I’m sick of crying over you! I’m sick of my heart hurting and I’m sick of missing you.” A sob broke free. “I’m sick of loving you, Jax, because it hurts too damned much.”
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